Dec 5, 2007

Words don't come

Haven't lately been able to shake what follows me through the day, and wakes me up at night, and never wants me to eat and makes me act all funny. Something is bothering me and I don't know what it is. Maybe it is being immured in walls, too too cold to venture out, maybe it is having too much to do and never ever finishing, maybe it is the layers and layers of grey - maybe it is something else.

But it is something.

I want to learn to live with this heart.

I want to leave the cold behind.


Tai said...

This is possibly cabin fever. Also known as calenture, but only if you're at sea. It's a sort of delirium suffered by people who have been on a ship for a long time. They become convinced that the ocean is actually a giant grassy meadow and they jump overboard. (Don't do that.)

Christina said...

But see, I've become quite sure that the giant grassy meadow is the Ocean. So I keep trying to jump overboard but it hasn't been working -

(But what you say may explain why at random times I've started chanting Ariba!!
Chica chica boom A chica chica boom boom chic
... Yes... thank you, tai.)