A wish I never sent

my father
I wished for you to know that a hug can mean more
than a lesson in Theology - that a Smile would be more true than your explanation of what Love is - and that all the Words you ever spoke remain meaningless until you Laugh.
I wished you
to know that all are not perfect, and I can never be.
In your orderly helter-skelter, might there be no room for my
probable fallibility -
I wished you would know that OK doesn't always mean OK when I say it's how I am;
Ask me a question - only one, so I would know.
I wished you to know that the loss you
can cause is deeper than all you blindly stand sentinel against.
Most of all, I
wished and still do -
that you would know I still love you.